Firefighter / Paramedic of the Year
|
|
|
|
The Portsmouth Fire Department
Awards Ceremony
October 12,
2006
A Firefighter's Wish...
" I Wish You Could "
I wish you could see
the sadness of a business man as his livelihood goes up in
flames
or that family
returning home,
only to find their
house and belongings damaged or destroyed.
I wish you could know
what it is to search a burning bedroom for trapped children,
flames rolling above
your head, your palms and knees burning as you crawl,
the floor sagging under
your weight as the kitchen beneath you burns.
I wish you could comprehend
a wife's horror at 3 A.M. as I check her husband of forty
years for a pulse and find none.
I start CPR anyway,
hoping against the odds to bring him back,
knowing intuitively it
is too late.
But wanting his wife
and family to know everything possible was done.
I wish you could know
the unique smell of burning insulation, the taste of soot-filled
mucus,
the feeling of intense heat through your turnout gear, the sound of flames
crackling,
and the eeriness of
being able to see absolutely nothing in dense smoke
sensations that I have
become too familiar with.
I wish you could understand
how it feels to go to work in the morning after having spent
most of the
night, hot and soaking wet at a multiple alarm fire.
I wish you could read
my mind as I respond to a building fire, 'Is this a false alarm or a working,
breathing fire?
How is the building
constructed? What hazards await me?
Is anyone trapped or are they all out?'
or to an EMS call,
'What is wrong with the patient?
Is it minor or
life-threatening? Is the caller really in distress
or is he waiting for us
with a 2x4 or a gun?'
I wish you could be
in the emergency room as the doctor pronounces dead the
beautiful little
five-year old girl that I have been trying to save during the past twenty-five
minutes, who will never go on her first date or say the words,
"I love you Mommy,"
again.
I wish you could know
the frustration I feel in the cab of the engine, the driver
with his foot
pressing down hard on the pedal, my arm tugging again and again at the
air horn chain, as you fail to yield right-of-way at an intersection or
in traffic. When you need us, however, your first comment upon our arrival
will be, "It took you forever to get here!"
I wish you could read
my thoughts as I help extricate a girl of teenage years from
the mangled remains
of her automobile,
'What if this were my sister, my girlfriend, or a friend?
What were her parents'
reactions going to be
as they open the door
to find a police officer,
I wish you could know
how it feels to walk in the back door and greet my parents
and family,
not having the heart to tell them that I nearly did not come home from
this last call.
I wish you could feel
my hurt as people verbally, and sometimes physically,
abuse us or belittle what we do, or as they express their attitudes of,
It will never happen to me.
I wish you could realize
the physical, emotional, and mental drain of missed meals,
lost sleep, and
forgone social activities, in addition to all the tragedy my eyes have viewed.
I wish you could know
the brotherhood and self-satisfaction of helping save a life or preserving
someone's
property, of being there in times of crisis, or creating order from total
CHAOS.
I wish you could understand
what it feels like to have a little boy tugging on your arm
and asking,
"Is my Mommy O.K.?" Not even being able to look in his eyes without
tears falling from your own and not knowing what to say. Or to have to hold
back a long-time friend who watches his buddy having rescue breathing done on
him as they
take him away in the ambulance. You knowing all along he did not have his seat
belt on.
Unless you have lived
this kind of life, you will never truly understand or
appreciate
who
I am, what we are, or what our job really means to us.
I WISH YOU COULD!